Move Out Day! - Part 1
Once you and your soon-to-be-ex have determined which of you will move out of the house, get ready for some BIG changes!
Let's start with the assumption that your husband will make the move so that the children can stay in the home and not be forced to face the loss of their home at the same time that they are dealing with a figurative (and somewhat literal) loss of a parent. This is a really scary and unsettling time for everyone involved and the less nasty you can make it, the better.
If it is the husband who will be moving out, presumably he will have rented a new home or will be staying with family or friends for the short term. But, one word of caution ladies - just because your husband moves out, does not mean he giving you the house! Don't make the mistake of getting too comfortable with the idea that you can just sit back and relax and survey your "new" home that is now all your very own. Not a chance! As he hauls HIS stuff out of HIS house, your husband will be full of anger and resentment and will begin thinking of ways to ensure that you will have to move out, too. So, don't run to the mall and start spending the money that you have hopefully been saving in preparation for this day, because we can guarantee that you're going to need it.
As the sun sets on the day that your husband moves out, you might find that the relief you expected to feel has somehow been replaced by a whole new set of emotions. We have a girlfriend who couldn't wait for her husband to move out. She and her husband had been living in virtual silence and animosity for a very long time and rarely shared a word (pleasant or otherwise) with eachother for months. She even counted down the days til he was scheduled to move out and planned on relaxing (and celebrating)with a bottle of wine that evening. So, what happened when that day finally arrived? Instead of toasting her new independence, she panicked! As she watched his clothing, belongings, furniture, etc. move piece by piece out of the house, she suddenly realized that she was going to be alone. You might be thinking, "well, of course she's going to be alone, how could that not have occurred to her??" But, beware, this is a very common reaction. Until you are faced with the reality of a situation, you really don't know how you will react. The realization that suddenly it is up to you to do everything - take out the trash, put air in your tires, make sure that the gutters are clean, kill all the spiders that sneak their way in - is a very frightening proposition to most women, and one that they do not truly consider until it hits them over the head.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that everything will be the same when your husband moves out, he just won't be there anymore. A lot of things will change. Think about everythiing that your husband currently does around the house, the yard, the vehicles, the kids. Now think about the fact that once he moves out it will be up to you to take on the responsibility for all of these things (in addition to the overwhelming responsibilities you already have!). Please don't misunderstand us. We're not saying that you can't handle it on your own, we just want you to be very clear what's in store so that your expectations are more in line with reality. That first night alone can be a very scary one.
Up next - When he won't move out.....
Let's start with the assumption that your husband will make the move so that the children can stay in the home and not be forced to face the loss of their home at the same time that they are dealing with a figurative (and somewhat literal) loss of a parent. This is a really scary and unsettling time for everyone involved and the less nasty you can make it, the better.
If it is the husband who will be moving out, presumably he will have rented a new home or will be staying with family or friends for the short term. But, one word of caution ladies - just because your husband moves out, does not mean he giving you the house! Don't make the mistake of getting too comfortable with the idea that you can just sit back and relax and survey your "new" home that is now all your very own. Not a chance! As he hauls HIS stuff out of HIS house, your husband will be full of anger and resentment and will begin thinking of ways to ensure that you will have to move out, too. So, don't run to the mall and start spending the money that you have hopefully been saving in preparation for this day, because we can guarantee that you're going to need it.
As the sun sets on the day that your husband moves out, you might find that the relief you expected to feel has somehow been replaced by a whole new set of emotions. We have a girlfriend who couldn't wait for her husband to move out. She and her husband had been living in virtual silence and animosity for a very long time and rarely shared a word (pleasant or otherwise) with eachother for months. She even counted down the days til he was scheduled to move out and planned on relaxing (and celebrating)with a bottle of wine that evening. So, what happened when that day finally arrived? Instead of toasting her new independence, she panicked! As she watched his clothing, belongings, furniture, etc. move piece by piece out of the house, she suddenly realized that she was going to be alone. You might be thinking, "well, of course she's going to be alone, how could that not have occurred to her??" But, beware, this is a very common reaction. Until you are faced with the reality of a situation, you really don't know how you will react. The realization that suddenly it is up to you to do everything - take out the trash, put air in your tires, make sure that the gutters are clean, kill all the spiders that sneak their way in - is a very frightening proposition to most women, and one that they do not truly consider until it hits them over the head.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that everything will be the same when your husband moves out, he just won't be there anymore. A lot of things will change. Think about everythiing that your husband currently does around the house, the yard, the vehicles, the kids. Now think about the fact that once he moves out it will be up to you to take on the responsibility for all of these things (in addition to the overwhelming responsibilities you already have!). Please don't misunderstand us. We're not saying that you can't handle it on your own, we just want you to be very clear what's in store so that your expectations are more in line with reality. That first night alone can be a very scary one.
Up next - When he won't move out.....
Posted by Lifes Dirty Little Secrets at 11/25/2009 10:37 AM 
Categories: The Straight Skinny
Tags: lawyer attorney love reality
Categories: The Straight Skinny
Tags: lawyer attorney love reality
Comments