Lifes Dirty Little Secrets: To leave or not to leave....

To leave or not to leave....

Ok, so you and your spouse have determined that mediation is not an option and you have both 'lawyered up". You will each try and keep the identity of your attorney a secret for as long as possible in order to put off the inevitable google search and win-loss success rate investigation of your respective attorneys as long as possible. Eventually, the paper shuffling will begin and the identities will be out in the open - now you can each size up the competition and move on.

Since it is a requirement in many states that the parties not be living under the same roof for a certain period of time in order for a divorce to be granted, one of the first issues you are going to have to address is, who is going to move out? Admit it, ladies. You're all thinking, "What?!? I'm not going anywhere! Let him move out!" Well, guess what? That's exactly what he's probably thinking. Unless he already has a girlfriend and needs a more private love-nest, he won't want to leave any more than you. As far as he is concerned, he has worked hard to pay for that house, it is just as much his home as it is yours (if not more!), and if you want out of the marriage then you should be the one to get out of the house, too.

We know some girls whose husbands decided relatively early on that it would be easier to move out then fight and found a new place to stay. But, we know just as many girls whose husbands dug their heels in and refused to budge, even if it meant that the children would have to re-locate with their mother. In the majority of households, it is the mom who is primarily responsible for the care and feeding of the children, and the husband has always enjoyed the comfort of knowing that everything kid-related was taken care of without him ever having to lift a finger. That notwithstanding, almost as many of these guys will undermine their children's stability in order to stick it to their wives. It is astounding just how many men will sacrifice their children in an effort to punish their wives. If you are unfortunate enough to be married to one of these men, you had better have read our earlier posts and have been saving every penny for the last couple of years - they don't give away apartments for free, you know....

Up next, The BIG Move.......